18 March 2001, ISKCON Mayapur

Pankajanghri prabhu gave Bhagavad-gita class in the evening.  His words were simple, but profound: ‘There is the theoretical understanding, ‘I am eternal servant of Krishna’; and  there is the practical application based on sadhu, sastra and guru.  Many cannot put this into practice.  Then, there are those who put this into practice but cannot practice for long.  And there are those who practice for long, but who still fall away.  Devotional service can be quite testing‘.

I met Pankajanghri some hours later behind Radha-Madhava’s kitchen. Â He was pacing up and down in the darkness, chanting his japa. Â I offered him my obeisances. Â I was surprised when he did the same back. Â Senior devotees normally just fold their palms and say, ‘Hare Krishna!’ Â He reminded me of a schoolboy. Â Youthful, despite his age. Â He was very humble. Â I asked him about the wooden Deity of Lord Chaitanya in Prabhupada’s rooms. Â He dead-panned, ‘Clay’. Â The Deity was made from clay. Â I had some pictures of Radha-Madhava which I had bought at one of the gift shop booths on the Campus. Â I asked him to write something at the back of one of the photos. Â He asked me what I should write. Â I said, ‘I just want your blessings, prabhu’. Â He wrote, ‘May you always think of Radha-Madhava’.

Pankajanghri prabhu changed track and said, ‘It’s my birthday today’. Â I said, ‘But I thought it was at your birthday the other day’. Â He replied, ‘Yesterday. Â That was our tithi. Â Tithi is the according to the moon. Â Today is our actual birthday’. Â He went on, ‘One Vaisnava near here from the Gaudiya Math is a hundred years old. Â He says, ‘Trees live to be a hundred’. Â So, what’s the big deal about having a birthday?’. Â I said, ‘It is different. Â You are a Vaishnava’. Â Pankajanghri then asked, ‘What is your name?’ Â ’Michael’. Â ’How long have you been at the Temple?’ I said, ‘Here?’ ‘No. Â In ISKCON’. Â ’Four years’. Â ’And you are uninitiated?’ Â I told him about my meeting with Radhanath Maharaja and he said, ‘He’s accepted you. Â That’s real initiation. Â You are fortunate to have a Spiritual Master!’

Since Pankajanghri prabhu is such a revered pujari (priest of the Deity), I wanted to ask him a pertinent question.  So I asked,’What is the essence of Deity worship?’  He replied, ‘You have to understand who you’re dealing with.   The Deity is not just wood or stone.  If you think like that, it’s because you think you are made of blood and marrow.  The Deity is spiritual.  Krishna mercifully comes in the form of the Deity for our benefit.  We should always have the consciousness that the Lord is sentient.  The Lord can, of course, alternate between matter and spirit, spirit and matter’.  His words shed new light on Deity worship for me.  He continued, ‘We have to be careful of offences.  In the beginning we are absent-minded.  We have bad thoughts and commit seva-aparadhas [offences while serving the Deity].  As we progress, there is improvement.  Everntually, after some years, our consciousness develops by serving the Deity.  We can take that consciousness outside the Temple and see the Lord everywhere’.

I thanked Pankajanghri prabhu, and took his leave.