Madhava dasa - Florida USA
last updated 1st January 2002

Sri Giridhari ki jaya
Dear Jaya Tirtha Caran Prabhu, (01.01.2002)

PAMHO AGTSP

You may remember me from a few months back. I was the devotee who told you of a desire I had for years to worship Govardhana. Well, somehow, by Radharani's mercy, I was able to obtain my Istadeva. Here is the basic story:

I had obtained permission from my spiritual master to take up the worship of Govardhana four years ago, but things had never manifested. Finally I had the opportunity to go to Vrndavana and in the 6 months prior to leaving I was reading and re-reading every Govardhana book I could find. I had only a couple of weeks in Vrndavana so I had to make the best of every day, so I had planned everyday before hand on what I would do and see if Krsna would allow me to have Govardhana.

Anyway, my basic plan was to do Govardhana parikrama once or twice and see what Krsna desired, but it happened that the morning I arrived I meet a devotee I had not seen in years and he invited me to do Vrndavana parikrama that morning with him. I dove right in and went with him, but his feet were well broken in as he had been in Vrndavana for a couple months already, whereas my feet were not at all ready for such a journey. What happened was that I developed blisters about halfway through the parikrama and started to walk on the side of my feet. Because of that I badly bruised one of my feet and when I got back, I could not walk at all. Even standing up was wrought with intense pain. I started cursing myself for being so shortsighted that I "ruined" my chance to do what I had planned to do, going on Govardhana parikrama. I saw that I could barely walk to the bathroom so how was I going to go on parikrama? I was lamenting like anything feeling like I lost my once chance. I prayed to Radharani to forgive me for my offenses and I started to think that maybe Krsna does not want me to take Him from Vrndavana.

Later that day, I hobbled with great difficulty to the temple and there I saw Chaturatma for the first time. We were to meet each other there as we both serve in the same community and he was going to help me obtain Govardhana. I did not know to what extent he was going to help me, but I felt Krsna and Radharani come through him as his first words to me when we met were, "I have Govardhana for you." I thought that Krsna has answered my prayers and has come to me in the way that he wanted to. I really wanted that to happen, I did not want to force myself on Him, and so he answered my prayers in that way.

Chaturatma had spent a lot of time with Indradyumna Maharaja there in Vrndavana and when Indradyumna Swami was about to bring a Govardhana sila back to Govardhana when the devotees he had got Him for were not going to take Him (perhaps because of His large size), Chaturatma said that he knew a devotee whom this Govardhana would be perfect for. When I first saw Him I immediately feel in love and He was far, far beyond what I would have ever imagined He would be. He was absolutely perfect and I felt immediately that this is the Lord of my heart.

I could not walk to Govardhana, but somehow, being in Vrndavana getting the special mercy of Srimati Radharani, I was still able to obtain my Istadeva.

After some time my feet healed and I was able to get to Govardhana (3 times in 5 days) and while walking around Govardhana and observing Him in His many forms, I could not find a more perfect Lord of my heart.

I am fully convinced that if you have a spiritual desire in Vrndavana, Srimati Radharani will grant that desire.
Srimati Radharani Ki Jaya! Sri Vrndavana dhama Ki Jaya! Sri Giri Govardhana Ki Jaya!

Your servant,
Madhava dasa

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